iTom: Free Music From Tom Smith

Music in every style -- except dull. Tom Smith, the World's Fastest Filker and the prototypical geek folk-rocker, releases new music for free download on a regular basis. (It was a song a week for almost a year.) You can subscribe to the RSS feed, purchase a better-quality MP3 of the song, or purchase three months' worth as a downloadable album.

Friday, June 29, 2007

046: iDon'tCare

It's a phone.

Yeesh.
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iDon'tCare
Words and Music © 2007 by Tom Smith
Released under a Creative Commons Noncommercial ShareAlike License


Everyone is lining up
To get the latest toy
With every fancy buzzword
The reviewers can deploy

It's a wireless browser,
Music player, and a phone,
Well, listen up, you Apple junkies,
'Cause I've got my own

It's called
iDon'tCare
Amazing gadgetry
iDon'tCare
The latest in ennui
It tells me if what's cool or hot
Actually matters -- usually not

iDon'tCare
The new technology
iDon'tCare
It's more than sophistry
All it does has been done before,
But now it's clumsier and costs more

Every permutation, every
Variance in hue
Is sold across the nation as if
It was bold and new

Slim responsive elegance,
Such sexiness and grace
It's like a high-priced hooker
With a logo on her face

iDon'tCare
'Cause I don't need to own
iDon'tCare
Another telephone,
If it's worth all this noise and hype,
How come it's not as clear as Skype?

iDon'tCare
I haven't got the time
iDon'tCare
To shift a paradigm,
I only want to play a song,
Good thing that my thumbs are strong

So many times we've seen this sort of marketing before
You can buy a brand-new lifestyle at your favorite store
Give up your apartment, your sedan and both your jobs,
To gently stroke the touchscreen and twiddle with the knobs

It may make stuff more fun to do,
But keeping track is hard
Did you just win at Sudoku
Or max out your credit card?

It's guaranteed to change your life,
It really is da bomb
Like Windows ME, the Segway,
PSP and Pets dot com

iDon'tCare
Your life is more compact
iDon'tCare
With a two-year contract
The Steves have got a perfect plan
To feed your short attention span

iDon'tCare
And so I'll muddle through
iDon'tCare
'Cause I've got things to do
And if the future's passed me by
I won't complain 'cause I'll know why
They have new crap to buy and I
Don't care.

Monday, June 25, 2007

045: Sidekick

Tonto. Bucky. Shaggy. Xander. Rick Jones. Any given Weasley. Robin. (Changeling/Beast Boy, Robin's sidekick. How sad is that?)

Aqualad.

Flounder.

It's a dirty job, but somebody's got to do it. I guess.

(Sorry this one's late. I'm catching up, and will have at least two more later this week.)

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Sidekick
Words and Music © 2007 by Tom Smith
Released under a Creative Commons Noncommercial ShareAlike License


I'm the hero's sidekick and I've got a lot to say
None of it's intelligent, I just get in the way
But I'll do one useful thing to help him save the day
I'm the hero's sidekick, and I'm... o... kay.

When the hero needs me, I will be right by his side
Unless of course I've wet myself before I run and hide
Still, I'll prob'ly help him out just when it seems he's died
I'm the hero's sidekick, and I've got... my... pride.

He would have a girlfriend if he noticed her,
But they do this stupid little dance,
She'll end up with me, of that I'm pretty sure
If he weren't so obsessed I'd had no chance.

When the villain has us where he wants us in the end,
I'll do something stupid against which he must defend,
Leaving him wide open for a shot from my best friend,
I'm the hero's sidekick, or so I... pre... tend.

Maybe then I'll get a scene where I don't die alone,
Or perhaps I'll live, and we'll both see how much we've grown
All I've done since Volume One is argue, piss and moan,
Won't someone give me a franchise of... my... own?

I'm the real hero, I'm the one folks want to see,
Second fiddle or banana ain't my destiny,
What's that, then? that means the villain's coming after ME?
I'm the hero's sidekick, and that's all... I... need... to... be.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Fan Video for "Smash the Frickin' Fairies"

I am immensely flattered by all the activity in this area lately. This one's by "Wisecracker".
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Wednesday, June 13, 2007

044: Blog Like It's The End Of The World

Zombies are popular. So's blogging. This guy decided to combine them. Cool.

Braaaainnnnzzz.
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Blog Like It's The End Of The World
Words and Music © 2007 by Tom Smith
Released under a Creative Commons Noncommercial ShareAlike License


So the meteor struck and now everyone's dying
But this is no time for fussing and crying
There are zombies all over from coast to coast
And I've got to tell everyone in my next post

Even though I can hear noise at the door
And something is trying to claw through the floor
My voice is important, I know that for sure,
And for now, my mom's basement seems secure

You've got to
Blog like it's the end of the world
While we've still got the phone lines and power
Blog like it's the end of the world
Though our readership drops by the hour
Earth is in danger so I'll answer the call
With a scathing retort posted at TownHall
You've got to
Blog like it's the end of the world
Just in case that's what it turns out to
Be.

No matter how bloodthirsty zombies become,
They can't withstand Atrios or Kevin Drum
Of course they want brains, they don't have one iota,
Of what God gave Glenn Greenwald or David Sirota

We can bar the doors or light bonfires,
But check Free Republic and Crooks and Liars
'Cause with undead carnivores roaming at large,
We want John Derbyshire leading the charge.

You've got to
Blog like it's the end of the world
For the citizens need all the facts
At the corporate media the gauntlet is hurled,
Likewise, at the zombies, this axe
Our civilization is blowing to bits,
But today my LJ's had four thousand hits...
You've got to
Blog like it's the end of the world
Just in case that's what it turns out --

There's a troll in the comments who's giving me stress
Whining how we're defeated and beaten
I'll just forward the zombies his IP address
And eventually he'll be eaten
There's an interesting stench coming in through the vents
Or it could be this sandwich from Tuesday
There've been so many noteworthy current events
That we're lucky today's a slow news day

I have no idea 'bout the fate of men
HaloScan and Gravatar are hosed again
Daily Kos is down and so's Powerline,
But that's normal so for all I know everything's fine
I can hear from upstairs that the screaming has stopped
And that face peeking through doesn't look Photoshopped
As they burst through the door, I know that I'm done
Just give me a minute for spell-check to run

You've got to
Blog like it's the end of the world
All is chaos, unrest and disorder,
Blog like it's the end of the world
And the comments get shorter and shorter
Now normally I'm not someone who complains
But I'm getting the munchies, and what I want's brains
You've got to
Blog like it's the end of the world
'Cause it is.

Labels:

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Fan Video for "Waking Up Jedi"

The husband-wife team known as Minck Ink have created a very cool video for "Waking Up Jedi". (You should also check out their previous effort, for my FuMP song "Cat Macros", if you haven't already.)

Thursday, June 07, 2007

043: The World Is Against You

I know lots of people with their own personal superstitions. I've tried to get past most of my own, but it's not easy. There has to be a reason why those specific omens and portents are omens and portents, y'know?

Maybe we should list 'em on Wackipedia. ;)
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The World Is Against You
Words and Music © 2007 by Tom Smith
Released under a Creative Commons Noncommercial ShareAlike License


"Other drivers hate me" you say under your breath,
You should know that they do, and they're plotting your death
They're all jealous because they're not as good as you,
The world is against you, but what can you do?

There's a twelve-item limit in line at the store
And you're trapped behind someone who has thirty-four
The cashier can't add, and the bagger is high,
The world is against you, and you don't know why.

The day you were born, the gods, on a whim,
Looked down at your cradle, said, "We don't like him,
There are so many ways to ensure his downfall,
We're immortal and bored, so let's try them all."

Your favorite team lost 'cause you laundered your shirt
The one from your childhood, with magic team dirt,
You wouldn't have gotten all four tires flat
Except that your path was crossed by a black cat.

You can't wash your car or the rain soaks the ground,
For three days and six hundred miles around
The bankers just called, and they want the house back,
Your mother's in traction, you stepped on a crack.

So many bad things happen, all caused by you,
Your existence offends the whole universe through,
Distant planets align just to mess up your day,
And the stars in the sky feel the very same way.

You relit the pilot, your furnace went boom,
You spit donut crumbs at your boss 'cross the room,
Your name's at the top of a terrorist watch,
You use public toilets, got growths on your crotch.

I suppose that someday the gods might let you be,
But you're more entertainment than they usually see,
If you ever stopped whining, they might get a clue
And start bugging someone more whiny than you.
The world is against you, what else can you do?
The world is against everybody else too.

Sunday, June 03, 2007

042: Online Ghost

Not a lot to explain about this one, really: this story hit me right between the eyes.
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Online Ghost
Words and Music © 2007 by Tom Smith
Released under a Creative Commons Noncommercial ShareAlike License


You never really could explain
Why you shipped off to hell
Now every day, the same refrain,
He served his country well.
I tried to set aside my rage
I tried to let it be,
But one day I found the wrong web page
And saw you smile at me

An electric echo is all that's there
And all that I'll prob'ly get
And I didn't expect I'd have to share
You with the internet.
This isn't what I wanted, but it's
More than most,
How long will I be haunted by your
Online ghost?

The tinny speakers began to blare
An Alan Jackson song
There were pictures of you over there
Like nothing had gone wrong
A blog about where you had been,
As much as was allowed,
Of how you'd soon be going in
To make all of us proud.

Your voice and smile are frozen there
Where anyone can see
Even if I could, would it be fair
To keep you just for me?
We hadn't talked in your last days, but now I've
Got this post,
A fluke of the MySpace maze got me your
Online ghost.

Of course I really have no choice,
I go back now and then
To see your face, to hear your voice,
To just remember when.
I used to fear you were alone
Wherever you might be,
But now I fear that you have grown
Your own community.

Every day another joins the ranks
Of pages that won't change
Some people say I should give thanks
For that much, but that's deranged
'Cause to have you here with me is what I
Want the most,
The world will never see more than your
Online ghost.