Music in every style -- except dull. Tom Smith, the World's Fastest Filker and the prototypical geek folk-rocker, releases new music for free download on a regular basis. (It was a song a week for almost a year.) You can subscribe to the RSS feed, purchase a better-quality MP3 of the song, or purchase three months' worth as a downloadable album.
Everyone is lining up To get the latest toy With every fancy buzzword The reviewers can deploy
It's a wireless browser, Music player, and a phone, Well, listen up, you Apple junkies, 'Cause I've got my own
It's called iDon'tCare Amazing gadgetry iDon'tCare The latest in ennui It tells me if what's cool or hot Actually matters -- usually not
iDon'tCare The new technology iDon'tCare It's more than sophistry All it does has been done before, But now it's clumsier and costs more
Every permutation, every Variance in hue Is sold across the nation as if It was bold and new
Slim responsive elegance, Such sexiness and grace It's like a high-priced hooker With a logo on her face
iDon'tCare 'Cause I don't need to own iDon'tCare Another telephone, If it's worth all this noise and hype, How come it's not as clear as Skype?
iDon'tCare I haven't got the time iDon'tCare To shift a paradigm, I only want to play a song, Good thing that my thumbs are strong
So many times we've seen this sort of marketing before You can buy a brand-new lifestyle at your favorite store Give up your apartment, your sedan and both your jobs, To gently stroke the touchscreen and twiddle with the knobs
It may make stuff more fun to do, But keeping track is hard Did you just win at Sudoku Or max out your credit card?
It's guaranteed to change your life, It really is da bomb Like Windows ME, the Segway, PSP and Pets dot com
iDon'tCare Your life is more compact iDon'tCare With a two-year contract The Steves have got a perfect plan To feed your short attention span
iDon'tCare And so I'll muddle through iDon'tCare 'Cause I've got things to do And if the future's passed me by I won't complain 'cause I'll know why They have new crap to buy and I Don't care.
I'm the hero's sidekick and I've got a lot to say None of it's intelligent, I just get in the way But I'll do one useful thing to help him save the day I'm the hero's sidekick, and I'm... o... kay.
When the hero needs me, I will be right by his side Unless of course I've wet myself before I run and hide Still, I'll prob'ly help him out just when it seems he's died I'm the hero's sidekick, and I've got... my... pride.
He would have a girlfriend if he noticed her, But they do this stupid little dance, She'll end up with me, of that I'm pretty sure If he weren't so obsessed I'd had no chance.
When the villain has us where he wants us in the end, I'll do something stupid against which he must defend, Leaving him wide open for a shot from my best friend, I'm the hero's sidekick, or so I... pre... tend.
Maybe then I'll get a scene where I don't die alone, Or perhaps I'll live, and we'll both see how much we've grown All I've done since Volume One is argue, piss and moan, Won't someone give me a franchise of... my... own?
I'm the real hero, I'm the one folks want to see, Second fiddle or banana ain't my destiny, What's that, then? that means the villain's coming after ME? I'm the hero's sidekick, and that's all... I... need... to... be.
So the meteor struck and now everyone's dying But this is no time for fussing and crying There are zombies all over from coast to coast And I've got to tell everyone in my next post
Even though I can hear noise at the door And something is trying to claw through the floor My voice is important, I know that for sure, And for now, my mom's basement seems secure
You've got to Blog like it's the end of the world While we've still got the phone lines and power Blog like it's the end of the world Though our readership drops by the hour Earth is in danger so I'll answer the call With a scathing retort posted at TownHall You've got to Blog like it's the end of the world Just in case that's what it turns out to Be.
No matter how bloodthirsty zombies become, They can't withstand Atrios or Kevin Drum Of course they want brains, they don't have one iota, Of what God gave Glenn Greenwald or David Sirota
We can bar the doors or light bonfires, But check Free Republic and Crooks and Liars 'Cause with undead carnivores roaming at large, We want John Derbyshire leading the charge.
You've got to Blog like it's the end of the world For the citizens need all the facts At the corporate media the gauntlet is hurled, Likewise, at the zombies, this axe Our civilization is blowing to bits, But today my LJ's had four thousand hits... You've got to Blog like it's the end of the world Just in case that's what it turns out --
There's a troll in the comments who's giving me stress Whining how we're defeated and beaten I'll just forward the zombies his IP address And eventually he'll be eaten There's an interesting stench coming in through the vents Or it could be this sandwich from Tuesday There've been so many noteworthy current events That we're lucky today's a slow news day
I have no idea 'bout the fate of men HaloScan and Gravatar are hosed again Daily Kos is down and so's Powerline, But that's normal so for all I know everything's fine I can hear from upstairs that the screaming has stopped And that face peeking through doesn't look Photoshopped As they burst through the door, I know that I'm done Just give me a minute for spell-check to run
You've got to Blog like it's the end of the world All is chaos, unrest and disorder, Blog like it's the end of the world And the comments get shorter and shorter Now normally I'm not someone who complains But I'm getting the munchies, and what I want's brains You've got to Blog like it's the end of the world 'Cause it is.
I know lots of people with their own personal superstitions. I've tried to get past most of my own, but it's not easy. There has to be a reason why those specific omens and portents are omens and portents, y'know?
"Other drivers hate me" you say under your breath, You should know that they do, and they're plotting your death They're all jealous because they're not as good as you, The world is against you, but what can you do?
There's a twelve-item limit in line at the store And you're trapped behind someone who has thirty-four The cashier can't add, and the bagger is high, The world is against you, and you don't know why.
The day you were born, the gods, on a whim, Looked down at your cradle, said, "We don't like him, There are so many ways to ensure his downfall, We're immortal and bored, so let's try them all."
Your favorite team lost 'cause you laundered your shirt The one from your childhood, with magic team dirt, You wouldn't have gotten all four tires flat Except that your path was crossed by a black cat.
You can't wash your car or the rain soaks the ground, For three days and six hundred miles around The bankers just called, and they want the house back, Your mother's in traction, you stepped on a crack.
So many bad things happen, all caused by you, Your existence offends the whole universe through, Distant planets align just to mess up your day, And the stars in the sky feel the very same way.
You relit the pilot, your furnace went boom, You spit donut crumbs at your boss 'cross the room, Your name's at the top of a terrorist watch, You use public toilets, got growths on your crotch.
I suppose that someday the gods might let you be, But you're more entertainment than they usually see, If you ever stopped whining, they might get a clue And start bugging someone more whiny than you. The world is against you, what else can you do? The world is against everybody else too.
You never really could explain Why you shipped off to hell Now every day, the same refrain, He served his country well. I tried to set aside my rage I tried to let it be, But one day I found the wrong web page And saw you smile at me
An electric echo is all that's there And all that I'll prob'ly get And I didn't expect I'd have to share You with the internet. This isn't what I wanted, but it's More than most, How long will I be haunted by your Online ghost?
The tinny speakers began to blare An Alan Jackson song There were pictures of you over there Like nothing had gone wrong A blog about where you had been, As much as was allowed, Of how you'd soon be going in To make all of us proud.
Your voice and smile are frozen there Where anyone can see Even if I could, would it be fair To keep you just for me? We hadn't talked in your last days, but now I've Got this post, A fluke of the MySpace maze got me your Online ghost.
Of course I really have no choice, I go back now and then To see your face, to hear your voice, To just remember when. I used to fear you were alone Wherever you might be, But now I fear that you have grown Your own community.
Every day another joins the ranks Of pages that won't change Some people say I should give thanks For that much, but that's deranged 'Cause to have you here with me is what I Want the most, The world will never see more than your Online ghost.
