iTom: Free Music From Tom Smith

Music in every style -- except dull. Tom Smith, the World's Fastest Filker and the prototypical geek folk-rocker, releases new music for free download on a regular basis. (It was a song a week for almost a year.) You can subscribe to the RSS feed, purchase a better-quality MP3 of the song, or purchase three months' worth as a downloadable album.

Monday, September 18, 2006

008: Hey, It's Can(n)on

According to her page at the Harry Potter Lexicon, Hermione Granger's birthday is September 19. This also happens to be International Talk Like A Pirate Day (for which, you may recall, I wrote the official chanty a couple of years ago). Which is pretty much all of how this song came about. At one point the refrain line had a slightly different rhythm, but Anne made a very good suggestion which I adopted.

I also had fun at the Pirate Nicknames page. "Hermione Granger" led to "Skylarking Charity". Ehh. "Ginevra Weasley" generated "Deadeye Pegs" (which works for me, as I don't much like Ginny).

But "Hermione Jane Granger" got "Buccaneer Jane".

Arrr.

A couple of continuity notes: No, it's not actually in the books, at least not yet. But JKR did say it, and I wanted that rhyme with "Hook".

Yes, I know Lucius is currently in Azkaban.

"'Ships" in the next-to-last verse refers to relationships, i.e., who'll end up with who romantically. There's an ongoing and surprisingly rancorous online war between those think it'll end up Harry/Hermione (I'm on that team) and supporters of Ron/Hermione. I deliberately leave it open (sorry, Harry/Draco fans).

I was in a bit of a rush to get this one ready for TLAPD, and there's a good chance I'll remix it and likely tweak a couple of vocals. Don't panic, however -- I'll absolutely do so before iTom 1.0 is released, and... this one's a freebie anyway. Not wanting to be stepped on by the JKR/WB legal machine, I declare that this song is not gonna be for sale. I mean, I'm gonna put it on the album, but that's very much an incidental 'cause-I-wrote-it-now thing. Think of it as a bonus track. The song will always be up at TSO, and it will always be the better 192-Kbps quality. I do this very deliberately to avoid problems. No, guys, I'm not making money off Harry Potter. The title doesn't even call attention to HP.

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Hey, It's Can(n)on
Words and Music © 2006 by Tom Smith
Released under a Creative Commons Noncommercial ShareAlike License
Harry Potter Publishing Rights © J.K.R.
Harry Potter characters, names and related indicia are trademarks of and © Warner Bros. Ent. All Rights Reserved. Characters are used without permission. No challenge to copyright is intended, nor should such challenge be construed.


Ye've read the Harry Potter books, ye think ye know 'em through
But there's something that ye may not know, and here's a little clue:
The female of the Trio has her birthday on
Talk Like A Pirate Day so heads up, Harry and Ron!

When she found out, her eyes she rolled, an' she went on knittin' socks,
But Harry said, "I've got the gold, let's head down to the docks,"
They traded lots o' Galleons for a lovely brigantine,
And now they're her young stallions and she's a pirate queen!

Come here, ye lads and lasses, I tell ye, she's the one,
Give a cheer and raise yer glasses, but not till class is done
Though she's only seventeen, she's smarter than Dumbledore,
Hermione Granger, the Pirate Queen, the pride of Gryffindor!

Her white shirt and black leather they complement her eyes,
A red sash brings it t'gether (and the boots half up her thighs)
Cap'n Hook's a fan and Jack Sparrow thinks it's great,
It's in the books, it's canon, so let's all celebrate!

Hoist the mainsil', wind the capstan, give it all ye got,
The firewhiskey and th' captain both are really hot,
Here's a Happy Birthday to the girl that we adore,
Hermione Granger, the Pirate Queen, the pride of Gryffindor!

She taxidermied Pettigrew, and on the bridge he sat,
'Cause after all, what pirate ship doesn't have a rat?
She Incarcerous'd young Malfoy so he could not escape,
And one Petrificus later, she made him walk the Snape!

Dolohov she'll finish off, and Bellatrix she'll foil,
Lucius'll land in Azkaban and likewise Crabbe and Goyle,
She laughs at danger, thinks it's keen -- bring on Voldemor -- TT!
Hermione Granger, the Pirate Queen, the pride of Gryffindor!

Now here's the part we talk about with whom she's lockin' lips,
'Cause after all, a pirate queen has got to have her 'ships,
Some say Harry's her true love, or Ron she will betroth,
She finally cried, "I can't decide, I'll have to have 'em both!"

Who's the sassy bossy witch that all the boys pursue?
Grander than the Golden Snitch and more elusive too.
One may Seeker, one may Keeper, both know how to score, with
Hermione Granger, the Pirate Queen, the pride of Gryffindor!

And so the Seven Seas she sails, in deadly hot pursuit
of getting perfect O.W.L.s and aceing every N.E.W.T.
Some think she's just a bookworm, but I am here ta say
She's got this pirate thing down cold every natal day!

Come here, ye lads and lasses, I tell ye, she's the one,
Give a cheer and raise yer glasses, but not till class is done
She'll go down in history, the one we're singin' for,
Hermione Granger, the Pirate Queen, the pride of Gryffindor!
Hermione Granger, the Pirate Queen, the pride of Gryffindor!

22 Comments:

At 7:43 PM, Blogger Helen said...

That is totally awesome. =)

 
At 8:09 PM, Anonymous A Piratical Type Person said...

Arrr Matey, shiver me timbers. That do be a good 'un.

 
At 8:19 PM, Blogger Will "scifantasy" Frank said...

Now this one is a blast. I think this one works just fine, but if you want to rework it to improve it, well, I won't complain.

Unless you go Lucas on the song...*grin*

(And the "ship" jokes are great and inevitable.)

 
At 8:38 PM, Blogger filkertom said...

Thanks! No, if I do it, the rework will be actually fairly subtle -- a couple of voices next to each other in time but not necessarily in space that sound too similar, better instruments to render the MIDI files (I just didn't have time today; it does take a little work), a few extra cymbal crashes in places I feel need such. That's pretty much it. If I didn't like it, I'd still be working on it, damn the time... but I really, really haven't got it to spare tonight.

 
At 9:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is great fun! Are all the voices yours?

-- patoadam

 
At 9:30 PM, Blogger filkertom said...

All voices mine. Didn't have time to get a female voice for Hermione, and I actually think it worked this time -- the contrast is so great.

 
At 10:46 PM, Blogger lexi said...

Wonderful! I'll be singing this under my breath ALL DAY at work tomorrow. Nicely done.

 
At 2:02 AM, Anonymous Dan said...

Via dailysnitch on lj.

Cute song. This was my favorite line: She finally cried, "I can't decide, I'll have to have 'em both!"

 
At 4:37 AM, Anonymous djonn said...

Avast, this be a noble ditty indeed! It gets me seal of Arrrr-proval!

 
At 9:13 AM, Blogger Jon Northwood said...

This be delightful. Thank'ee, Tom, fer makin' the day start out right.

 
At 11:22 AM, Anonymous Jennifer said...

Absolutely flippin' brilliant.

 
At 11:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yarr, a brilliant ditty!

 
At 12:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

'Tis a wondrous thing ye've done here!

I love the fact that "Ginevra Molly Weasley" (Ginny's canon name) gives up Blackspot Prudence.

*snerk*

 
At 1:12 PM, Blogger Shmuel said...

While I be appalled that ye be a scurvy H/Hr shipper, the song be worthy of Davy Jones himself. Five points to Gryffindarrrrr.

 
At 7:46 PM, Blogger Hermione said...

I really LOVED this song. Hermione is my favorite character in the books so this was WONDERFUL.

 
At 9:42 AM, Anonymous Chrissy said...

oh GODS thats awesome! :)
YARG! ye get Rum and Weevley Biscuits
http://filthylies.net/d/20051118.html
http://filthylies.net/d/20051123.html

 
At 10:25 PM, Blogger Renata said...

the best song I ever heard.

 
At 6:06 PM, Blogger Arancaytar said...

"One may Seeker, one may Keeper, both know how to score"

Ouch. *Three* puns in a single line...

I love it!

 
At 10:35 AM, Blogger Orange Mike said...

Truly, sir, you have a depraved imagination. It's an honor to know you!

 
At 12:18 AM, Anonymous Debbie said...

I love this song. Wow! I'm sharing it with everyone I know. Thank you for sharing your talent.

 
At 11:48 AM, Blogger w2irt said...

With the right talent, this is a guaranteed "Best In Show" at a Worldcon-class Masquerade.

 
At 8:28 AM, OpenID sarekofvulcan said...

Come to think of it, this song has gotten slightly more amusing in the light of "At World's End". :-)

 

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