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Wednesday, August 09, 2006

002: Blue Screen of Death

Hey. It makes as much sense as what's written on the damn screen.

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Blue Screen of Death
Words and Music © by Tom Smith
Released under a Creative Commons Noncommercial ShareAlike license


Every time your computer crashes... a cuddly kitten dies.
The impending horror flashes in its innocent kitten eyes.
From its gentle purr to its down-soft fur, it begins to vaporize,
With one heart-wrenching "Mrew?" with its last breath,
It's a victim of the Blue Screen of Death.

When your net connection drops, a baby seal is clubbed.
When the flow of data stops, its tiny head is drubbed,
And you think your ping is the only thing that just got whacked and scrubbed....
But, somewhere, sad brown eyes are asking Why?
Because of that Blue Screen, they had to die.

All those endless software patches and the Service Packs as well
Have empowered cyberdemons from the darkest pits of Hell,
Think of every download mirror that was broken when you came,
Now, for each one, seven years of bad luck, that still works the same....

When PowerPoint fails the mission, a fairy loses its wings.
All those slides and cool transitions flense the flight gear off the things.
And it's Tinkerbell you've sent to hell at your quarterly meetings,
While Peter Pan forlornly calls her name,
Never knowing The Blue Screen her soul did claim.

Is it more like the Grim Reaper, or a black cat 'cross your path?
Is life only an equation? And how do we do the math?
Is it instinct or misguided play or deliberate attack?
Is there any way to stop it without switching to a Mac?

Every time your system goes down, a puppy dog is kicked.
When the firewall needs a hose-down, a bunny's getting bricked,
But amidst the fear, the end is near, the computer has been tricked...
We've found a way to disable that Blue Screen,
But who knows what will happen now it's Green?

8 Comments:

At 3:55 PM, Blogger Will "scifantasy" Frank said...

First of all, I like it! Very funny, and I almost wish it was true...painting Microsoft as supporters of animal cruelty would work even better than painting them as creativity-stoppering monopolists.

And to answer your question about ways to stop, well, there's Linux. *grin* But it's harder to rhyme that, anyway.

One thing...I swear on my life, I've heard the background string-type work (sounds like an electronic harpsichord) before in your work. Would it be related, in instrumentation, motifs, or both, to the backline to "Mad Scientists United"?

(I don't exactly have a photographic memory, but I have something close.)

 
At 4:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Cynics?"

 
At 4:52 PM, Anonymous pickledcritter said...

Love it! Don't know if it was intentional or not, but I get a real 80s power ballad vibe from it, and that alone makes me smile :)

 
At 9:47 PM, Blogger filkertom said...

scifantasy -- exactly right. Mozart-ish style in SuperJam, heavy on the strings and harpsichord, which is what I wanted. (I toyed with big honkin' cathedral organ, but I was under a deadline.) I played with it a bit, but what works, works.

 
At 11:01 PM, Blogger Will "scifantasy" Frank said...

Thought so. It works very well, both places.

 
At 8:01 AM, Blogger Wolfger said...

Wonderful. Beautiful. Those kitten-killing bastards!

 
At 2:53 AM, Anonymous Rooth said...

Yet one more reason to dislike M$ - that is, if you happen to like kittens. And puppies and sea lions and .. ;)

This one's gonna spread through the office like a virus. Hmm, may be on to something there .. muahaha! ;)

 
At 4:30 PM, Anonymous Weetzie said...

I love it! The fairy verse reminds me of 'dentity Crisis (one of the best plays ever). Oh, and the harpsichord in the background reminds me of the opening credit music for Corpse Bride.

 

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